For
me writing has not only been a joy but has also been a kind of catharsis…a way
to get “out” what I’m feeling, what I’m thinking. It has been one of the few things in my life
that I tell myself I can do “pretty well” (not great but “not so bad”). I sometimes write just for the fun of it
(like this blog), but sometimes I write because I can’t put my thoughts into
words any other way.
On a day-to-day
basis my thoughts go off into so many different tangents, I can’t count
them…they jump all over the place so much so that I wonder how I stay sane (if
I am sane, that is!) I have often asked
myself if I have developed ADD in my old age and just can’t focus on one
thought at a time, or perhaps my brain is just really good at multi-tasking in
the thinking process! Even when I pray I
may begin to pray for someone or some thing and my mind will go off on a
tangent thinking about the person or thing I’m praying for. I’ve asked God to please just go along with
me and know that I will get back to Him when those thoughts pass!!!
So
why am I writing all this TODAY? I think
it’s because I need a “brain dump”…I just need to think write through
some things going on in my head. I won’t
be writing about all the political and environmental things going on in our
country right now…although those things greatly trouble me. I am journaling about them, however, just so
I can have it all to look back on someday, or perhaps for my grandchildren and
great-grandchildren to read in the future and understand what perhaps they
never knew or experienced. I won’t
tackle political problems on my blog ever…just too controversial, plus I get so
mad I could spit (and I hate abhor spitting!)
But this has been a week of revelations for me, as well as a week of
remembering and reflection…some good, some bad.
This will more than likely not be of interest to anyone…and I imagine
some of my “few” readers will have stopped reading long before getting to this
point. And, that’s OK. I am writing this mostly for myself…that
catharsis that I need, and also to have it to look back on from time to time.
So…here
goes!
I
learned some lessons this week, or at least was reminded of some things that I
should remember and think about more often:
1. I was reminded that life is many things for
many people! Life can be joyful, sad,
easy, difficult, complicated, exciting, hurtful, amazing, earth-shattering…and
so much more. I keep reminding myself of
something I’ve often read or heard: Life
is not what happens to you, but how you choose to deal with what happens. (Sometimes I deal rather well, I guess..but
other times I’m a total mess!)
2. I realized more than ever that just because
someone or some family looks (and acts) like they have EVERYTHING…money, power,
recognition, a big house, fine clothes, a 3 car garage, etc….they just might
not have IT ALL. I realized this more
than once this week. I realized that
many if not most people/families have skeletons in their closet, secrets that
they wish were not theirs to (try and) keep, heartaches that they wish they
didn’t have to endure. This week I was
reminded that I need to count my blessings more than ever.
3. I also realized this week that not everyone
is exactly who we think they are. We
would all probably really be surprised at the number of people we know or are
acquainted with that wear different masks (not talking about the Corona masks
here). I probably wear some too…maybe we
all do. Sometimes those masks are even
necessary. This has made me think a lot
this week about how I should never judge someone (and, yes, that’s a human
frailty and I’m guilty) because I may not know their whole story. I also caught myself wanting to tell some
people they should never think they are better than anyone else (but I
refrained!!!)
4. I’ve come to accept this week that
Alzheimer’s is no longer just a disease I’ve “heard about” but am coming face
to face with due to my dear, dear friend’s illness. And it hurts…it hurts really, really, really
bad!
5. I learned this week that even when you are 71
years old (or older), you can still discover old secrets that were right under
your nose but you never knew them…and that learning them can hurt…a
lot!
lot!
6. And finally I’ve learned that my wonderful,
macho, sometimes gruff, sometimes “I just don’t get it” husband, can still
surprise me (even after 50 years of marriage) with his level of understanding
and compassion.
There
are still so many thoughts whirling around in my head…sometimes I really do
wish I weren’t such a “thought-ful” (full of thought) person!!! But I’ve said written enough for now. Maybe (I hope) that putting this all down in
words will help me get my emotions more together. I continue to be so very thankful for my high
school English teacher, Mrs. Cleveland, who instilled in me a love of writing
and for giving me the confidence to be a life-long writer. And I am so thankful that about 3 years ago I
wrote her a letter telling her THANK YOU.
So
there it is…if anyone has read this and it has helped YOU to make any
realizations in your life or helped you to learn any new lessons, then I’m very
happy about that. If not, it was good to
“let it out”…and to my grandchildren and future great-grands, if you ever read
this always remember...
*No
matter how old you are, there are always life lessons to be learned.
*Your
problems are no bigger than anyone else’s…yours may even be smaller.
*Everyone
has their own story, so never be quick to judge.
*And
never, ever think you are better than anyone else. (If you do, I will come back to haunt you!)
