KINDNESS COUNTS

William Thackery once wrote: 

 I think  that’s good advice.  But even more importantly the Bible tells us:

I’ve thought a lot about kind words this week, but I’ve also just thought a lot about kindness in recent months.  I’ve been distressed as I've seen grown (supposedly intelligent and Christian) men spew anything but kind words from their mouths for the whole world to hear.   I’ve seen people (supposedly good citizens) riot and protest illegally in the streets and break into stores to steal anything from big screen TVs to designer purses…something they really need, right?)  I’ve seen kindness obliterated in front of my very eyes, it seems.

 

Of course, I do believe there are still a lot of kind people out there, but do we sincerely give enough thought to being kind to our families, our friends, and even strangers?  Do we strive to find ways to be kind , or do we just wait for an opportunity to show up and then say a few words and think we’ve reached our kindness quota  for the day? 

 

 

I feel sure I miss opportunities to be kind; and I know I don’t always go out of my way to show kindness to others.  But this subject really has been on my mind a lot lately.  In the last few months I have experienced the deaths of 15 people that I have had some type of relationship with…some closer than others.  I have seen the brokenness of the families and their need for  kind words and gestures of kindness.  I have sent cards; I have taken food; I’ve tried to be kind, but I’m sure there is more I can do.

 

Did you know that kindness has power?  Did you know that the effects of kindness have actually been studied by scientists, psychologists, and others?  Mr. Google can tell you all about this; but just to get you started, here are a few things researchers have proven:

 

* Happiness researcher Sean Achor demonstrated through his extensive research that if you perform random acts of kindness for two minutes a day for twenty-one days, you can actually retrain your brain to be more positive.  (Who couldn’t use more positivity in their life?)

 

*Kindness has been found by researchers to be the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage.  (I'm so thankful for my kind husband...he's so good about telling me thank you and saying other kind things.)

 

*Kindness begets kindness.  According to Emily E. Smith in an article on www.theatlantic.com:  “A great deal of evidence shows that the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship.” 

I’ve had a lot on my mind this last week (not happy about the election, but I won’t get into that!)…mostly just some sad things concerning friends and family members.  So, I guess God knew I needed a few kind words myself…and He sent them to me through two sweet people.  I just have to share with you…I’m kind like that you know!!!

 

First, l-o-n-g story short…I had sent a facebook message to a childhood friend, Brenda, that I reconnected with a couple years ago.  Have only seen her maybe 3 times since we were 12 since I moved away at that age.  I was looking for some information on someone from our original hometown and I knew she would be able to tell me exactly what I needed.  Anywho…a little while after we finished messaging back & forth and the conversation had ended, I heard my MESSANGER THINGIE  (my technical term for something when I don’t know what to call it!) ding.  It was Brenda, and this is what she wrote:

        “I remember how sad I was when you left (our hometown).  If you had stayed, I would have been a better teenager.  Anyway, I have always loved you as my first best friend.”

Words can’t express how special that message was and still is to me.  I will cherish it always.

 

Then today I yet again heard my MESSENGER THINGIE ding!  It was a former second grade student that I taught in 1981/82.  She told me a little about herself but this is the part I want to share with you:

        “Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate all that you did for me.  I turned out to be a good kid and an even better adult.  …I know that all the little bits and pieces I received in my younger years contributed immensely.  I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and that all our 2021 is better than our 2020.”    Love, Beverly

Note:  Sadly I don’t remember all my students (I don’t have enough brain cells for that), but I do remember Beverly.  She was a very sweet child.

 

These kind words by my friend Brenda and my student Beverly didn’t cost a thing but a few moments of their time, and yet they brought me more pleasure and happiness than if they had sent me a dozen red roses or a big box of chocolates (if you knew me and my love for chocolate you would realize what a statement I just made!!!)

 

My goal in the coming weeks and months (and hopefully years) is to spread a little more kindness.  There are so many ways we can do this…from a simple smile and a thank you to the gal at the grocery checkout to something a little more industrious like baking a cake for a shut-in (for me that would be hugely industrious!)

 

From what all those experts (with all their zillions of brain cells) tell us…kindness is like a disease; it’s contagious.  So let’s go out and spread it!

ART is in My HEART

 

 

*Note:  this post is actually just a page for my journal, but you are welcome to read if you care to😊

 

Sometimes in life you get to experience moments that are so fulfilling that you can almost feel your heart swell with emotion.  I had an experience like that today, and I am so very thankful for it.

(Background info)  Years ago my granddaughter (now 14 and very artistic) would often say to me, “Cheri, I wish we had ART in school.”  We had had a wonderful ART program at one time, but it was cut years and years ago when the government cut back on school funding.  I guess this sweet girl “planted a seed” because about two years ago I began (finally) on a quest to try and get a Visual ARTS program put back into our high school and middle school.  I won’t go into all the details, but let’s just say I really put in a lot of hours with research and gathering support.  My final leg was to present my findings to the Board of Education.  And, long story short, my granddaughter’s wish came true! 

So now, let me tell you about my day.  We have an awesome ART teacher who asked me if I would come to the high school today and meet with some various groups of students to help them complete a performance standard.  Each group shared about their upcoming project; and although I really know zilch about ART, I was even able to give some of them suggestions that they really latched onto.  (Made me happy!)

As I looked around the classroom I was able to see their artwork, and it was absolutely amazing!  .  I knew there had to be a lot of talent among our student body, but I had no idea just how much talent there really was.  I very much enjoyed seeing so many wonderful finished products, but even more so I enjoyed the conversations I was able to participate in.

As I sat and talked with the students and listened to them, I actually had to hold back the tears.  Each and every one of them told me how thrilled they were to have this class, and how much they LOVED it!  One of the things that really touched me the most was that several of the students told me that they had discovered within themselves talents and creativity they had no idea was there.  This class and the wonderful teacher helped them find that talent, and now they are developing it.  I couldn’t help but think, “Look at the talent that would have been lost had not this ART class and their loving teacher shown them just what they were capable of.”

(Granddaughter & 2 of her besties in Art Class)

As much as I cherished every single comment, there was one that really got me!  One of the students was a young man with long hair that hung over his glasses; I could just tell from our conversation that he was a rather shy kid and that he was just a creative soul with ideas that were not your run-of-the-mill, usual teenage ideas.  I asked him if he liked the class and he told me very emphatically that he loved it.  Then I asked him what was the best thing about the class and he replied, “It lets me be me.”  That’s when I really had to bite my tongue to keep from crying because this is what I had hoped for.   

Many have told me “thank you” for all that I did to help get this program up and running, but I give all the glory to God because I prayed that He would guide me each step of the way and that He would help me find a way.  And I also give much thanks to our high school principal who could have shut me down when I first approached him.  He could have told me there just wasn’t enough money, or there wasn’t space, or there wasn’t a place in the curriculum for ART; but he didn’t shut the door.  He not only listened; he also supported me and my efforts.  I also have to say thanks to a friend and fellow retired teacher, Nancy, who was willing to help with some of the leg work and who gave me the encouragement I needed.

          (Granddaughter's first landscape)

 

Phylicia Rashad once said:  “Before a child talks, they sing.  Before they write, they draw.  As soon as they stand, they dance.  ART is fundamental to human expression.”      

I am so very thankful that now many of our students (including my precious granddaughter who started it all) are being given the opportunity to express themselves and find within themselves the love and joy of creativity.

 

 

 

 

"KETCHUP TIME"

I’m once again behind in writing, so thought I would take this time to “ketchup”…get it?  Of course, you do!!!

I finally got around to decorating “a little” for Halloween.  Now that the grandkids are older I don’t do as much.  This was about the extent of it this year…along with a ghost on the door😊

 

This has been HOMECOMING week at our high school.  Sadly there will be no dance this year.  My granddaughter is in 9^th grade and she was hoping for her first real date:)  They did have special dress up days each day.  Here she is in her Daddy’s old high school Letterman jacket for “Throwback Day”.  Then today was “Career Day” and she went as a teacher.  Made me so proud!  She’s wearing my lanyard and a teacher pin a student gave me.  I don’t know if she will stick with her plans to be an early childhood educator, but she would make a great one! 

We got hit with some of the rain from Hurricane Zeta today, but nothing bad like some areas got.  Guess they named this one after my cute grand dog.

 

 

Sadly I lost two more friends recently…one (a very healthy 70 year old) due to COVID; the other a special friend from my childhood who was also my 3^rd grade (and favorite) teacher.  She has always been beautiful inside and out.  We have stayed in touch through the years.

 

I was finally able to get to visit with some of my VALLEY GIRLS.  (You can read about them in a very old post…HERE.)  Unfortunately, it was to attend one of the girl’s brother’s memorial service.  We spent two nights together and were able to catch up.  Three of us went on a MEMORY TOUR around our hometown.  Sadly it’s gone down and so many of the homes with it.  We did have a real treat though.  We took a tour of our old high school which is being renovated for an Assisted Living apartment building.  There was a NO TRESPASSING sign, but we got permission from some Hispanic workers who didn’t speak English!!!  Luckily Jerri spoke Spanish!  They are preserving as much of the original fixtures as possible.  Oh how I love my Valley Girls! Wish they all could have been there.

 

Life continues at a slow pace due to the pandemic, but I’ve learned (mostly) to adjust to it. 

 

And I’ll end with a story I recently discovered and shared as part of my most recent Sunday School lesson, although you may have heard it before.  When I first read it, I wasn’t sure it was true but I researched and found out it was.  My lesson was about MIRACLES.  I found this story (along with many other miracle stories) in Lee Strobel’s book A CASE FOR MIRACLES.  (If you have never heard of Strobel, you really should Google him…it’s a wonderful story!) 

A young black boy graduated from a predominately black high school in Detroit.  He graduated 3^rd in his class and with the highest SAT score in any Detroit school in 20 years.  He could only afford the $10 admission fee to apply to one college…YALE.  He was accepted and received a full scholarship.  His dream was to become a doctor but at the end of the first semester, he was failing chemistry (which, of course, is a prerequisite for med school).  His only hope was to make an A on the final exam since the professor had said he would double the A.  The night before his exam he prayed, “God, medicine is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do, but please show me what YOU want me to do.”        He intended to study all night but he fell asleep.  As he was sleeping he dreamed he was in a big auditorium with “someone” writing chemistry problems on the board.  The next morning he went to class, and as he looked at the exam he realized that every single problem was a problem he had seen in his dream!  He aced the exam and passed the course.  And he said he told God He would never have to do that for him again.  In the end, he became a doctor.  Do you know who this doctor is?

Dr. Ben Carson.  What a wonderful story; what a wonderful man!  Years ago when my son was in middle school (he’s now 48), Dr. Carson operated on one of his best friends (Carl) for a brain tumor.  The operation saved Carl’s life.  Carl died back in August, and Dr. Carson called Carl’s sister (the only surviving member of the family).  Now that, my readers, is a class act! 

Do you believe in miracles?  I do!  And these days I am praying for a miracle that leads our country in the right direction so that we may live in peace and prosperity once again. 

I CAN’T WAIT…REALLY! I CAN’T WAIT

 

I suppose that’s not actually true.  Sometimes I have no alternative but to WAIT!  But what I can’t do is wait…PATIENTLY!!!  Yes, I am terrible at waiting, at least for a lot of things.  Of course, I can wait as long as you want me to to have a shot or to pay my taxes or to go on that much needed diet.  But you know what I mean! 

 

I was the child who got ants in her pants when Oct. 1 hit.  Couldn’t stand waiting for Halloween and Trick-or-Treating.  Then, soon as that was over I realized I had 2 WHOLE MONTHS to have to wait for Christmas!  I suppose most kids are like that, but (unfortunately) some of us still carry that difficulty of waiting into our adult years.  

But whether you wait well or (like me) you wait impatiently, waiting is just a part of life.  In fact, it seems we are forever waiting on something:

*When we are kids, we can’t wait till we’re teenagers

*When we get to be a teenager, we can’t wait till we are 16 so we can drive

*Then we can’t wait till we graduate and go off to college where we think we’ll be free to do whatever we want without our parents around

*then we wait on that first job, marriage, a house, and kids

Those are all GOOD things to wait on.  But sometimes there are NOT SO GOOD things we have to wait on like:

*the results of medical tests

*if our loved one will be healed

*if our kids will turn out OK even after taking a few slight detours

*the promotion we’ve worked so hard for but others are wanting too

*if we can pay all the bills at the end of the month     etc., etc., etc.

 

IT’S JUST NOT ALWAYS EASY TO WAIT.

We want what we want when we want it.  Our culture has taught us to hate waiting.  After all, we have fast-food restaurants, 2 day delivery with Amazon Prime, texts and emails vs hand-written letters; and then there is instant coffee, instant grits, instant oatmeal.  All those things might make our lives somewhat easier and less hectic but there are just times we can’t get instant gratification.

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I recently read an article that really resonated with me…so much so I printed it out.  I am going to reference this article in my post but if you want to read the original it can be found HERE.  The author is Kay Harms and I hope she won’t mind me using some of her thoughts.  She has a lovely blog DRESSED FOR MY DAY.

 

NOTE:  I write about everything and anything…from my grandkids to decorating for the holidays to bargain shopping and anything else that tickles my fancy.  Some of my posts (like the last one) will also be centered around my Christian faith…and I make no apologies for that😊

 *****

AM I THE ONLY ONE?

 

First of all, the Bible is filled with stories of people who had to wait…and wait…and wait…and wait….

*Abraham and Sarah had to wait for many years to have the son God promised them

*Noah waited for around 75 years for the rains to come (it took a l-o-n-g time to build that ARK!)

*Hannah had to wait until she was 70 yrs. old (and after much praying) to have her son Samuel

*Joseph waited 13 years after being sold by his brothers to be rescued by God

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT WAITING?

 

The Bible has at least 100 verses that deal with waiting and how we should wait:

 

*Psalm 37:7     Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act.

*Psalm 130:5     I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope.

*Psalm 27:14     Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.

SO HOW DO WE CULTIVATE THE ART OF WAITING WELL?

 

1.Take our hands off and truly trust God to work.  

In my last post I commented that when we truly trust God we take ourselves out of the center of whatever dilemma or crisis we are going through.  It’s the same with waiting.  We wait well when we completely LET GO and relinquish the work to God.  THAT CAN BE SO VERY DIFFICULT FOR SOME OF US…but it’s not impossible.

Harms wrote:  “To completely take my hands off of something that I am waiting for God to do, I change my prayers.  I stop asking God to do something or worse yet, telling Him what to do, and I start thanking Him for working.  I pray something like, “Thank you, Lord, for working this out for me.  I trust that you are doing what is best in your perfect timing.”              

 

That really resonated with me.  God is NOT like a microwave oven.  He doesn’t just zap something into being because I want it.  Sometimes I have to wait for the answer I want; sometimes that answer I want never comes; but I’m learning to “trust” that no matter what…God is in control and He is working for me in ways I may never realize.  And that’s where FAITH comes in…and patience.

 2. Do what only we can do while letting God do what He can do.

While we are waiting, there are things we can do…if we want that job promotion, we can work a little harder to show our boss we are worthy of it; if we want our bodies to be healed we can follow dr.’s orders, take our medicines, get rest, etc.; if we are on the outs with a family member or friend, we can go to them and try to work it out (maybe even ask for needed forgiveness).  But at some point, we have to LET GO AND LET GOD.  We pray, we trust, and we thank God for working in the situation…even while we are waiting.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

    3.Keep a positive attitude.

    That’s not an easy one either.  It’s hard to keep a positive attitude when you’re in that deep, dark valley waiting to be able to move up to the mountaintop again.  “The enemy of our soul wants to use our times of waiting to plant seeds of doubt and distrust in God.  But we are wise to resist the enemy and steadily plant the truth of God’s word in our hearts.”  We must learn to WAIT WITH GOD, knowing that He is working on our behalf.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.    Romans 8:28

 4. Remind ourselves of God’s past faithfulness and His past answer to prayer.

I wish that through the years I had kept a journal of all my prayer requests along with the answers I received.  I feel sure there would be some blank spaces in the “received” column…some may remain blank forever; some may be yet to come.  But I am very sure that there would be more in the “answered” column that I can even imagine.  While we wait, we should reflect on all of God’s goodness and all the times He has been faithful to us, whether our season of waiting is a short one or a long one.

 

“God is always doing something even when I can’t tell what it is.  I’ve learned to be watchful for the hidden activity of God.”

              ---The Praying Woman

I imagine I will still be impatient in my seasons of waiting; it’s a part of my DNA I’m sorry to admit.  But I will be working on this and while I’m working I know GOD WILL BE WAITING ON ME with a smile on His face, pushing me along as I slowly but steadily cultivate the art of waiting well WITH HIM BY MY SIDE.

Prayer (copied)

Lord, I know you’re a good God, but the truth is that I’m tired of waiting.  I know YOU have the perfect answer.  I trust YOU have the perfect solution.  But waiting for the moment YOU decreed is tough.  Please be with me as I wait.  Le me see YOU as I never have before.  Help me to trust YOU and see YOU in new ways.  Prepare my heart, Lord, as I wait.  Help me cling to YOU as I wait.  Please Lord, let your peace rule in my heart.  Help me live by your grace each day of this waiting.  And help me bring YOU glory as I wait expectantly.

Amen

 

In the Midst of Trials

 

Many people at this moment are going through personal trials, and our country is definitely going through trials that are affecting us all in one way or another.  I never dreamed I would see all the anger, lying, and hate that seems to permeate the very air we breathe.  This past Sunday I taught a Sunday School lesson that touched me (and hopefully those in my class), and I thought I would share a condensed version here in my little piece of Blogland in case it might offer some comfort to someone who needs it.

 

(Note:  I used various sources & commentaries but the writing is my own.)

 

I think if we are honest, most (if not all) of us can look back on our lives and remember at least one trial, one very difficult time, when maybe our “trust” in God wasn’t at the level it had been or we wanted it to be.  I don’t mean we didn’t have faith that God was real, but perhaps we didn’t “trust” that He was there in the trial with us or that we didn’t “trust” Him to take care of us and bring us out of the trial in the way we wanted.  Even when we love someone deeply and we usually trust them explicitly, there still maybe times of doubt. 

 

A few years ago my son sang a song in church…UP ON THE MOUNTAIN.  

The lyrics told how everything is beautiful and peaceful “up on the mountain” but most of us will at some point see ourselves tumbling down into the valley…and that’s when our faith may be put to the test.

 So what can we do?  What do we do to keep our faith strong so that when we find ourselves tumbling from the top of the mountain to the valley we find our faith and our trust still intact?  Well, there really are some things we can do to prepare for those valleys.  Unfortunately, many Christians (and non-Christians) wait until we find ourselves in those deep, dark places and then we cry out WHY ME, GOD?  WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?  We prepare for cold weather by stocking up on firewood; we prepare for hurricanes by stocking up on supplies; we prepare for future medical crises by buying insurance; but how do we prepare for the trials that threaten our faith and trust in God?

  

1.   Know the scriptures

Read the Bible, but don’t just read it.  Study it; ponder over it; memorize verses and carry them in your heart.  I wish I could say I was wonderful at memorizing more verses.  I was one of those students who could memorize all the facts before the test, but once the test was over…poof!  Many left my head!!!  But even if we can only memorize a few verses, verses that can really speak to our hearts in times of trouble, they can be so helpful.  Another good thing to have is one of those lists that many of you have seen before…read this when you are fearful, read this when you are stressed, etc.  (HERE is a good reference.)

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.  Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”   John 16:33

“I am leaving you with this gift—peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don’t be troubled or afraid.”  John 14:27

 

2.   Pray

(No surprise!)  But!!!  We need to do more than just pray, more than just asking for God to take away our trial or even to walk through the trial with us.  We need to also LISTEN…we need to MEDITATE.  Now sometimes in today’s world when we hear the words “meditate” or “meditation” we get this negative idea of some guru lighting up incense, conjuring up and communicating with “spirits” that have nothing to do with God.  When we pray and meditate it means “devout spiritual contemplation.”  It means we aren’t just running through a laundry list of what we want God to do; we are sitting with Him, talking to Him, and opening our minds and our hearts to what He might have to say to us.  Have you ever had a conversation with someone where it all seemed to be one-sided?  The person you are with talks only about themselves, their ideas, their needs, their opinions, etc.?  I have and definitely didn’t enjoy it.  God listens to our prayers, our supplications, but I think He probably prefers to have a part in the conversation too.  We miss the most meaningful part of prayer if we don’t “meditate” also.

…when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.     Jeremiah 29:12

Never stop praying.  1 Thessalonians 5:17

 

3.    Know who God Is

I have been in Sunday School and church since I was an infant, just as many of you have been.  Through the years we have gained a lot of knowledge about God, about Jesus.  But do we use that knowledge?  I have been married for 50 years and have known my husband even longer.  I know a lot about my husband!  And the longer I have known him, the more intimate and loving our relationship has become.  I use my knowledge of his favorite foods, his likes & dislikes, his personal feelings about things, etc. to deepen our relationship.  I put him ahead of myself (well, at least in most things😊)    And it should be the same way with my relationship with God.  I need to know God through His word and I need to use that knowledge to deepen my relationship with Him.  Just as a marriage takes time and effort to build a relationship, it takes time and effort to build and daily strengthen our relationship with God, to come to truly know Him.

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope; the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:21-23

  

4.    Take Ourselves Out of the Center of the Trial 

All too often when we are overwhelmed, burdened, battered by life’s circumstances, we are all too eager to put ourselves in the middle of the storm, crying out WHY ME?  We have our own pity parties or we feel we are alone and God has hung us out to dry.  Or…we jump in feet first immediately thinking WHAT CAN I DO TO FIX THIS?  Self-sufficiency is a good trait to have, but sometimes we take it too far and we leave God out of the equation. 

Often we spend much too much time on figuring things out on our own and we spend our energy trying to find ways to tackle the difficult situations we face.  We end up leaning on everything and everyone but God.  However, the scripture tells us: 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”          Proverbs 3:5-6

 

“We must consistently, constantly pray that God would enable us to trust Him.  That God would help us believe His promises and trust Him even when life doesn’t make sense.  The simple reality is that most of the time we have only a very small grasp of what God is truly doing in our life.  And yet, because we know that he’s good and faithful and steadfast and ready to give us His grace, we can trust Him with our whole heart.”

 

 I think all of us are going through a very difficult time…the virus, the unrest in our country, the pending election whose outcome could completely change the course of our country…on top of any personal trials some of us may be dealing with.  Some days I feel the deep, dark valley crowding in around me.  But we’ve got to believe that even if things don’t turn out the way we want them to, God is still in control.  We need to put our faith and our “trust” in Him that in the end God will make it all right.  (That’s a lesson I’m still teaching myself.)

 

Life is easy when you’re up on the mountain, and you’ve got peace of mind like you’ve never known.  But then things change when you’re down in the valley, don’t lose faith for you’re never alone.  For the God on the mountain is still God in the valley; when things go wrong He’ll make them right.  And the God in the good times is still God in the bad times; the God of the day is still God in the night.